Curve ball.

Yesterday I was thrown a huge curve ball. My nanny kids parents came home from work, handed me part two of my birthday present and then told me they didn't need me for the summer. They have another nanny that has a little more experienced with babies and are more comfortable with her having both girls. 
I have been on an emotional roller coaster since they told me and from the start have just wanted to cry and yell. I feel embarrassed that they don't trust me with both girls for then entire summer, however they asked to have me back in September so I'm not entirely sure it's that. Here I am, sharing the news anyways. I promised myself I would share the good, bad and the ugly on here. I feel frustrated they led me to believe I had a job there for as long as I wanted it, and then chose someone else. I'm extremely frustrated that a year ago I dropped everything and commuted two hours each way, everyday, to help them with a little girl who feels like my own. Most of all I am scared about what this means for me and heartbroken I won't be able to see my little babe every day. 
In the last few weeks the family has had no problem leaving me with both kids and I was more than looking forward to spending the summer with these two munchkins. After bending over backwards on more than one occasion hearing my nanny mom say "I hope you understand" and watching her husband walk away from the situation, clearly not in agreement with her, I am lost and angry. No, lady, I don't understand and I sure as hell don't understand why you're smiling and telling me how much you love me when you're taking my income away from me. 

As a lost 21 year old girl, all I am thinking about is my next move. With emotions running high I would really like to move south or somewhere completely out of my comfort zone and start fresh. Find a job, make some new friends and maybe find whatever it is that i'm searching for. I keep telling myself good things fall apart so better things can fall together. Well, hopefully that's the truth. 
In the meantime I am off to scrape together $200,000 to open a pure barre in Georgia or the Carolinas. Just kidding... kinda. On the bright side there is plenty of time for blogging?