Born for leaving.

As previously mentioned, about, eh, 2.1 million times- I love music. More than that, I love when my life fits perfectly into song lyrics. It's funny how that happens. You have all of these emotions swirling around the inside of your head and it doesn't feel like anyone will understand them. As a matter of fact, you can't even vocalize all of these millions of thoughts well enough for anyone to even have insight into your thoughts. So there they sit. They sit there and simmer, sometimes they are put on the back burner and sometimes they're in the very front about to boil over. Next thing you know, you stumble upon a song and it seems as though a little person climbed into your head and explored all that's inside there. Viola, theres a song, a beautiful one at that, gracefully and elegantly telling the world exactly how you feel. 

The soundtrack to my life recently has been Colder Weather by ZBB. I'm not entirely sure why. I can only assume it's because one of my best and longest friends recently moved to Georgia for a teaching job. This friends is the epitome of "you've got a gypsy soul to blame and you were born for leaving." I can't help but feel so incredibly jealous of her bravery and sense of adventure while sad that I don't have that as well. I have nothing holding me back yet I still feel completely stuck here.

While I'm here, "stuck in colder weather" I can't help but wonder what will be the driving force to get me out of this rut. Out of a town lacking in adventure and excitement. Nothing changes here, there's no new faces and there is no excitement. I want to leave and I want to find love in new friends and new experiences. I want to experience warmer weather, I want to be able to dive completely out of my comfort zone and I know exactly where I want to do it. For whatever reason, I just can't. 

My goal over the next year to become someone that can stand strong on their own. Have confidence and conviction in all of my actions, however questionable they may be. At the end of this life of mine there's only one person that will have been a constant and only one person truly capable of making me happy. That person is me. 

I guess all that's left to do is appreciate the family by my side and the handful of friends that love and support me. Until I can get to the place where my heart is, or want's to be I suppose, I sit here and day dream. Stuck in colder weather. 

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