Hungover Thoughts

In the last few days, primarily my hungover Friday and Sunday mornings, I have done some thinking. In the year 2014 it is mind-blowing to me that seemingly simple and increasingly necessary services aren't in existence. I'm telling you all of my hungover thoughts are clear and lucid. Promise.  At the risk of giving someone else my ideas and losing potential millions- a list of what I need moving forward in this life. 
ONE// Explain to me why I can have absolutely everything in the world delivered to my front door BUT Dunkin Donuts. Clothes, appliances, food.. anything. However, when I am laying in bed with friends on Sunday morning hiding from the light and craving all things breakfast to soak up the remaining alcohol in my stomach, the things I need most can't be delivered to me. Five years from now when this is an option- I would like a medium iced coffee with cream and one pump of pumpkin. I'll also need a multigrain bagel with butter and hash browns. Grease.

(I told you my thoughts were clear and concise in my hungover state of being. WOOF.)

TWO// It is 2014, why is there no hangover cure? I mean sure we have helpers along the way that come in the form of greasy food and Advil but no cure. I am not getting any younger and while I like to think I can party like a rockstar I can't necessarily recover like one. Next weekend I'm going to fall asleep in sunglasses to help myself out in the morning.

THREE// This one is relatively common for me because "I just love everyone." That girl I made absolute bffls with last night. Either what's her name? Or if I do remember her name are we still going to be bffls when we're sober. I hope so. 

FOUR// Check texts, calls and all social media in the morning for damage control. There will absolutely be damage control that needs to be taken care of promptly. Although, as you see above, hungover tweeting could be as bad as drunk tweeting. 

FIVE// I'm never drinking again. Ever.

SIX// Wow, I really need to eat something and drink six gallons of water so I can start drinking again in roughly five hours. #college