Stars

Picture this: You're standing outside in the middle of a field, perhaps on a beach and the sky is completely clear. Nothing but the stars, the moon and space. Space next to you, space above you and an entire galaxy so large we can't even comprehend it. I sat under the stars for roughly a half an hour the night, completely unfazed by the cold and absolutely lost in my thoughts about the universe. Have you ever just thought about the enormity of the universe and tried to wrap your head around the "what you're seeing now happened eight years ago" thing? Well, it really hurts your head. Therefore I think about everything else it makes me feel. 
I feel small. I feel as though my problems are nothing in comparison to what is happening in the rest of the world. I don't live in a war torn third world country, I have clean drinking water and I always have food in my fridge or a little money in my wallet. I sit and think about what matters most to me and what I come up with are the most basic of feelings.  I'm thankful for all of those memories that give me that warm, sunshine in my tummy kind of feeling. You know the one that makes you wrinkle your nose and feels like all of the happiness is ready to explode out of your smile. I'm thankful for the memories that make me smile and then make me hurt. Those feelings that you try as hard as you can to ignore but they actually make your insides hurt? This is what someone would call a broken heart and most don't realize that it hurts to miss someone. The hurt is okay though. It mean's you had enough happiness to cause it and for that, you're lucky.  A bad day, an argument, being a little short on money- all issues that are so real down here in the hustle and bustle of daily life. All issues that have a very real effect on someones well being and how they look at the day. All issues that have the ability to make or break someone. All so trivial when your facing the universe. Then I think about the seven billion other people in the world struggling but making it work and I don't feel so important. Not in a bad way. In a "I need to make myself happy because at the end of the day that's all I have" way.  I like feeling small. 
"Understand the immensity of our world. Understand your insignificance. Understand your absolute importance." In this same night, I also felt connected. Everyone is under the same stars. Whether they're three miles away, three thousand miles away or whether they are overseas, they're all the same stars. Whoever you're missing, whoever you want to be next to can see them too. I'm not entirely sure how I can find comfort in this. I sit there alone, perhaps a little chilly but nothing changes. No one shows up. I can't teleport to whoever I want to be with. I'm alone. I just don't feel it and this is something I'm not going to overthink. I never want to lose the feeling of being close to someone I miss. Maybe I'm crazy, maybe not.  For me, my story is written in the sky. If you have been around here before you know how therapeutic I find a sunset. Every sunrise is a new beginning and sometimes that's all I need to warm up my heart. When things don't go to plan, I appreciate finding comfort in a world that can often be so cold and frightening.

"May every sunrise hold more promise and every sunset hold more peace."  Sometimes when I'm feeling the most lost, I just need to find some peace and promise in the world around me. At the end of the day aren't we all looking for that. Next time you're lost, look to the sky and let yourself feel small.