Wine Down

You know those weeks. Yep, those weeks. The ones that end with you in your PJ's and a bottle of wine in front of you before 7 p.m. Ain't nobody got time for a glass at that point. It's nice to know the weekend has finally arrived but are you actually relaxed? Sometimes, depending on the week at my last job, I wouldn't find myself actually relaxed until Sunday morning. Just in time for the Sunday scaries to kick in big time.

It's hard to enjoy any kind of work-life balance when your life feels more work oriented. During time off it's important to relax and reconnect with values that bring you happiness. For me, I love nothing more than waking up Saturday and Sunday mornings to a hot cup of coffee and my puppy. It's important that my weekend mornings aren't crowded with worry for the upcoming week. I like to snuggle with my dog, watch a couple of movies, get a nice workout in and set clear, defined intentions for the week.

Sometimes, it can be a little more difficult to put the hustle behind me. I try to recognize my stress going into the weekend and nip it in the bud early. Some Friday nights require a little extra wine and some TLC. On those nights, these are my four steps to bliss.

1. Candle(s)
 There is something so calming about the gentle flicker of a flame. I received a Herb& Irma lavender and sage candle from Target for my birthday and rushed out to pick up a few more. I use lavender as an essential oil to de-stress, so having it in candle form is a little slice of heaven.

2. Incense
I recently discovered burning incense and I can't get enough. With the lavender candle, I like the warmth and comfort of a vanilla scented incense. I find watching the smoke dance through my living room calming.

3. Face mask
Admittedly, I have never been someone who has spent much money on face masks. I have purchased the Glamglow mud mask. While it probably wasn't fair to expect big life altering changes in my skin, I didn't really see any improvement at all. Again, I know it isn't a miracle treatment but for the price I expected more. These days I pick up whatever is cheap at the pharmacy. I look for a mask that will draw impurities out of my skin and has primarily natural ingredients.

4. Hot shower
When the face mask is hard and the wine glass is empty, it's shower time. My night time showers don't last longer than five minutes are usually full of steam. I feel so relaxed after a hot shower and the return to my couch with a lavender candle waiting... heaven.

Whatever you do, just don't forget the wine!

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Comparison is a Bitch

If you're anything like me you spend countless hours a week scrolling through your Instagram feed, lusting over tropical getaways and outfits that could make Princess Kate drool. For me, these scrolling sprees usually take place either shortly after I have opened my eyes in the morning and/or right before drifting off to dreamland at night. My feelings quickly turn from lust to longing every.damn.time.

"Why don't I have that many followers?"
"How can she afford all of these clothes and those vacations?"
"I really need to make myself write more."
 "Damn it, why won't my blog grow?"
"These dreams will never happen."
"People don't care what you have to say and offer."

Do any of those sounds familiar?

These internal questions set me up for failure daily. The second I take a peak down the rabbit hole of comparison I am sucked in quick and there's no looking back. In an attempt to live up to the following of fashion and travel bloggers, the rest of my day is consumed with thoughts of what to blog about and the need to be somewhere cool to Instagram. The more I think, the harder to post anything at all. The truth is that right now, I am far from a travel blogger. (It's definitely on the goal sheet!) Further, I will NEVER be a fashion blogger. I like athleisure apparel and sweat too much. 

What I am, is a little bit of a hot mess sometimes. I feel like a little fish in a big tank nine times out of ten and am doing my best to adult daily. All I really need to make me happy is a Beyoncé playlist and a cup of coffee. As much as I love to sweat, I really love to lay in bed with my dog. I love to travel but my budget is tight. 

Comparison is a bitchy little voice that tells my voice it isn't good enough. It makes the joys of my day seem small and insignificant. Comparison tells me just how big I am allowed to dream and tries to force me away from my goals. 

 My moments, my streets and my people are of equal value than what I'm searching for. Speaking authentically allows me to connect to others and show up for myself every day. Sharing myself allows me to grow into a big fish in this tank of life. 

I'm definitely a work in progress but I'm trying to turn my scrolling-induced jealousy sessions into motivation to reach my goals my way. 

I'm enough.
You. Are. Enough. 

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Water with a side of lemon

I mentioned in yesterday's post that I start every day with a glass of water and lemon. I started adding lemon to my water a few years ago and call me crazy but I notice a difference. Especially in my energy level and skin. Lemon's aren't listed in the dirty dozen but if I can buy organic for a reasonable price, I prefer to. I like my water pesticide free. So why lemon water?

                                                                                             I'm obsessed with this new juice bar in town! 1.Aids in digestion and detoxification Lemon juice keeps food moving through your digestive track with ease and efficiency. It also encourages your body to process foods a bit slower which means your insulin is balanced for longer (energy) and you're able to draw out a few more nutrients! Lemon also stimulates the liver which flushes out toxins. I pee one million times a day, it's fine.
2. Vitamin C Move over oranges, there's a new sheriff in town. Lemon water. Vitamin C stimulates white blood cell production which is vital when it comes to fighting off a cold or flu. Since your body can't produce the vitamin on its own it needs to come from an outside source.
3. Skin This is one of my favorite benefits because I can see the improvement quick. This perk relates directly back to the one listed above, Vitamin C. The essential vitamin stimulates collagen production which researchers believe could result in fewer wrinkles. Within a couple of days, I always notice my skin looking clear and bright. 
4. Boosts mood I recently added lemon to my essential oils "smiles" collection! I don't know if it's the lemon or the coffee brewing but I usually have a smile on my face in the morning!

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Rituals

If the title of this post made you think about candles, hoods and chants- you should know we aren't discussing that kind of ritual today. Actually, we probably aren't discussing that kind of ritual ever. Moving on. In order to keep a sence of balance and presence in my life, I think it's really important to set an intention for the upcoming hour, day and week. Starting every morning with the same routine/ritual has made a huge difference in both my productivity and preparedness for the day.  In college I would sleep until I had just enough time to pull together a well-put together student. Or so they thought, lol. No breakfast, no time to shake the sleep from my brain and worse- no time for me. I even managed to grab a large coffee everyday despite my financial status. This is also around the time I saw my anxiety explode through my life and watched myself slowly withdraw.  Now I have more energy, I'm pushing myself to be the best version of me everyday and I feel energized to accomplish goals. My schedule doesn't allow every morning to be full of the same luxuries and sometimes it means getting up a little earlier than normal. Waking up to take care of my body and set positive intentions overpowers sleepy thoughts throught the day. When I struggle, I still reach for the aforementioned large coffee. I'm only human! So what's my morning ritual? I thought you'd never ask!

1. I wash my face and brush my teeth, you can find my favorite products here! Washing up first thing really wakes me up.

2. I grab a glass of cold water and add a slice of lemon while my favorite coffee brews in my keurig! I find that initial glass of water makes a big difference in my day. Energy, healthy choices throughout the day and clear skin. Check.

3. I sit with my feet up and my coffee. I love reading blogs such as rockyourbliss or Gabby Bernstein for a little personal development. I'm someone who is in constant practice of being the best me. These women kick ass when it comes to spreading all of the inspiration.

4. I read a few of my favorite lifestyle boggers favorite posts and post my own. Around this time I am typically enjoying a little high-protein breakfast as well. 

5. YOGA! I love myyogaworks.com.

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Summer Staples

Summer is coming, or so we hope, and I have a few items I just can't wait to pick up. If I close my eyes and listen, I can hear the flip flops, tan lines and sangria calling to me from here.
With the start of each summer I do my best to choose a few staple items. Typically, an accessory that will end up being used almost daily. I tend to make more purchases during the summer months but I go into the season with the intention of buying only a few items.
Below are four products that have been sitting pretty in my shopping carts for about a month. Today is the day I pull the trigger so I thought, hey, why not share the goods?

Quay Aviator Sunglasses

Quay, pronounced "key," is an affordable sunglass line out of Australia. I was drawn to these because they are an exact replica of a pair of Ray Ban's I had picked out but at $60 they're less than half the cost! Quay is here to shake up the sunglass world and I don't hate it.

Baseball Cap

I feel weird posting this. Mostly because this hat started as a floppy straw hat. Then there is that little detail about my die-hard love for the Red Sox. Here we are anyway. I love the faded charcoal color for the summer months and I'll wear this significantly more than a floppy hat. 
White Chuck Taylor

I think these babies speak for themselves. Something about an easy slip on, crisp white sneaker with a tan and your favorite lululemon crops. 'Nough said. Moisturizer

  Clean skin, no makeup and lots of sun are the motto during those blissful summer months. I like to have a simple cleanser free from perfumes. It's also important that my moisturizer has some sunblock to protect myself from damaging rays. This moisturizer pairs perfectly with my skincare routine which you can find here.

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The Universe and Curveballs

The Universe shall give and the Universe shall take.The last month I have been riding an unbelievable high my friends. I love my job, I have felt the creative juices flowing through these blog pages, fitness projects feet nearly complete and I found a car that was handed to me on a silver platter by Madam Universe, herself. To say things have been going well would be an understatement. 
That is until last Sunday rolled around and smacked me back a few steps. "Let's see how this fits into all of your perfection," Madam Universe, said. Then I broke my hand and ended up in surgery with a plate and some screws some days later. The pain is managable, more of a discomfort, but this injury has thrown a wrench in a whole bunch of plans. 

Here I sit, writing and scheduling with my left hand. Frustrated mubmles can be heard between sips of coffee but I'm pleased to share that my left hand is getting a bit steadier. I even applied some gel-liner last week. What What!? 

So while the Universe has given me a bit of a curveball it's my job to adapt, learn and grow. I have been busy researching which foods are best for my healing, finding and writing exercise plans for my legs, abs and upper body. It could always be worse. Maybe this the pause I needed to slow down and focus.I am definitely upset about the progress I have lost to date but it's time to train harder and come back stronger. 

Any tips for your girl on keeping a cast clean? First timer!

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February 15

It's the day after Valentine's day and I certainly feel loved. My Valentine made dinner when I got home from work at 10:30 and had it waiting by candlelight with a glass of Emergen-C on the side. He's the best. 
Today I woke up wondering what I did for myself yesterday? I took class but didn't do much to focus on my health or happiness. Today I am challenging myself to radiate beauty, charm and grace into the universe. Together with lululemon I am committed to being my best self, sweating every day and fulfilling my goal to be genuinely happy.

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An Open Letter To My Valentine

What's cookin' good lookin'?

You know better than anyone that I am not much of a Valentines gal. (Any excuse for chocolate and roses though.) I just don't believe I need a calendar to tell me when I should appreciate you. In the last week you have let me use your car as my own, helped me with my laundry, calmed down my midnight terrors AND made taco dip. Sounds to me like I have a lot to be thankful for everyday. 

This February 14, eight months into our first lease and six years after our first Valentine's Day that ended in an operating room, I have so much more to be thankful for. Your view of me has entirely shifted but the look in your eyes hasn't. Now you know that my bedroom isn't always very tidy and I spend most of my time in mens clothes, sans makeup, hair tied up in a messy bun. I'm typically a hot mess and somehow, you tell me how pretty I am with a smile. 

You get me through everything and love me when I have a hard time loving myself. I'm just not sure there are many words to describe just how thankful I am for you. Happy Valentine's Day to my favorite dance partner, partner-in-crime and best friend. I love you to the moon. 

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Goal Diggin'

Now I ain't sayin' she's a goal digger, but she ain't messin' with no unmotivated.... just kidding. Speaking of unmotivated, I have this lovely Wednesday morning off and I snoozed my alarm, skipped Pure Barre and am currently buried under two blankets, a laptop and a second cup of coffee at noon.

My last post mentioned the dark space I found myself in only a few months ago. Although my car just stopped accelerating on the highway and was recently pronounced dead, I am happy. I am a work in progress however.

The night my car died on my way home from work I was a big ol' ball of nerves and tension. I kept hearing things like "don't worry about it until you know what's wrong" or "it could be nothing!" I knew in my gut it wasn't nothing. After having the car towed to a local garage, Alex insisted we keep our date for the night. A bottle of pinot noir please! 

My chest stayed heavy and my stomach in knots until I finally told my parents it was time for me to make my first big girl purchase in a precarious financial position. Sharing the news lifted a small amount of the building pressure but I still walked around with dread. This is where we bring in that work mentioned earlier. 

My car died. My fourteen year old car with 208 thousand miles on her. I knew this was coming, it has actually been hanging over my head for a couple of years now. There is nothing I can do, I have to buy a car because I need a means of transportation. I am an adult that works full time and am more than capable of taking on a car payment. The timing wasn't ideal but when are these things ever ideal? Now, I get to actually pick out the car I am going to drive moving forward! My last car was my Dad's. 

That small shift in how I chose to look at my situation was the same way I was able to completely let go of my stress and anxiety surrounding it. I have the power to make my day what I want it to be. It is about fostering the right attitude and energy. Vibes man. 

Now that I have shared that little story with you, here is a list of 10 goals I hope to achieve in 2017.

1. Complete a gratitude journal. Start each day with one word or sentence explaining what I am grateful for that day. At the end of the year I plan to read back and look for themes. Those themes are things I will need more of in the future. 

2. Build my blog. All the hustle. 

3. Push my body and mind every day. Sweating once a day will keep the blues away! This goal means I actually need to get my a$$ to spin when I say I am going to. Word on the street is there is a Soul Cycle opening just a hop, skip and a jump from me. #getitrightgetittight

4. Be present. I have a tendency of letting my mind wander to the errands I should be running or the articles I should be planning. When I'm not present in conversations or my surroundings I'm not putting my best foot forward. 

5. Buy a new dope ride. With the entire beginning of this post I don't know how I got to number five before mentioning this one. 

6. Travel. I would love to see as many new places as possible this year. Whether they are down the street or across the ocean. 

7. Landmark. Lululemon sends their interested employees to a convention called Landmark. From what I hear it changes lives and I can't wait to get my hands on it!

8. Stay on top of chores. I am someone who is pretty good at leaving a coffee mug in the sink and a load of laundry in the dryer for a little bit too long. Be better Shan. 

9. Save that money. I have some serious long term goals in mind and those require some serious dolla dolla bills y'all. Don't worry we will go into those goals another day. 

10. Start everyday with a thankful mind and a full heart. Love beats hate and I am slowly but surely learning that the universe has my back. 

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See ya 2016

Please enjoy this irrelevant picture of pretty flowers!

This is a post I have struggled with. I mean if that wasn't evident, it is January 31st and I am just sitting down to project some of these crazy thoughts into this empty space. 2016 was a year where my heart has felt so full it could just explode with all of the love and happiness. 2016 was also a year that  I found myself questioning everything I've known to be true to date. 
It's important to me that my blog is a corner of the internet that exudes light. I hope to empower anyone reading or at least leave them with a smile. Unfortunately, my review of the last year can't be entirely positive. In fact, I am choosing to include the raw details because at the end of the day this is my blog. I want to look back in 10 years, I want to remember the pain of the lows and I want to embrace the goals that turned into reality. Hopefully.
Let's rewind all the way to last January. Last January began my last semester of college. My best friends and I were more than ready to take the world by storm but first, we had to take advantage of our lack of responsibility while we still could. This meant thirsty Thursdays and a bond like you dream of. (My small state school was not my first choice but it certainly holds a top spot in my heart now.)
March brought my last spring break in West Palm Beach Florida. Our trip was ideal, we stayed for free in a gorgeous home in Jupiter. Jupiter is a wealthy area that holds beautiful beaches and a small tiki bar that speaks directly to my soul. West Palm on the other hand was your typical sprang break destination where I had a dance off with a stranger in the middle of a club. I am not entirely sure how it started but I do know I finished the job. #getitrightgetittight
In May I graduated from college and accepted my first full time job. The job sounded great! Benefits, actual money and reliable paychecks, oh and my very own office space to decorate with Target's Nate Burkus collection. At first, like the naive little lady I was, I thought "this whole 8-5 thing isn't so bad." My desk held a picture of Alex and I, a little candy dish for the afternoon snack attack and color coded everything. A month and a half into the real world and I genuinely thought I was killing it. Silly silly girl. 
June 10, Alex get's a phone call around 7:15am and quickly hustles out of his bedroom. I heard some movement in the house and could tell something was going on. I thought nothing of it and closed my eyes again. He was back in his room a few minutes later, after hearing a few sniffles I turned over to see his eyes full and lost. His eye's met mine and with the gravity of the statement weighing on his entire body, he shared that his roommate had passed away late the previous night. Matt had a heart condition that we all knew about but perhaps didn't know the severity. I'm not even sure Matt knew the severity. 
That same night, after a day trapped in my cubicle and bogged down with worry and pain, I passed out a few times in a few short minutes. An ambulance was called and I earned myself a ride to the hospital. Alex was terrified, devastated and exhausted but never left my side. What a rockstar. A little concussion but I was okay. 
As you can imagine the following days and weeks were just a blur. Walking into Alex's house and passing Matt's room felt like a dagger to the heart every single time. Luckily, there wasn't very much time remaining in the lease.
In typical corporate fashion I was told I was unable to attend services as it wasn't a family member. Now, I understand this is corporate America and we do need to create rules and boundaries, especially when it comes to jobs that ultimately need to get done but come on. This is when I started to discover that I don't want to work for the man. The man sucks. That rule sucks. Ultimately, some co-workers were extremely generous in switching around some days and allowing me to attend. 
July brought a big change for Alex and I! We signed our first lease and moved in under the same roof.   Our home actually brought some relief to us and his friends. It was free of memories and familiar sights. Immediately we filled our weekends with friends and sangria. We wanted to celebrate our achievement and appreciate our friends. (It's been an adventure and I've certainly thought about killing him but I could't be more grateful for my home with Alex and Coops!) 
Fast forward six weeks, I walked into my office from a coffee break and a co-worker exclaimed "Call Alex! Something is wrong!" Cue my heart falling right into my stomach. Another friend of his was killed in a car accident. 
I'm someone that believes firmly in everything happening for a reason. All of the sudden I was left questioning, well, everything. 
The next few months proved to be really hard. Constant feelings of anxiousness. Always wondering why such horrible things could happen to such great people. My heart was hurting and my mind was in turmoil. I had fallen into the rabbit hole. 
My days felt like an eternity while I was in the office. The days and people seemed to get worse the more they liked me and filled me in on. I woke up, went to work, came home and tried to relax as much as possible. I found myself trying to stay up as late as my eyes could possibly stay open just so that I didn't feel as though most of my hours were spent in such a hostile, miserable environment. I lost motivation to take care of myself, exercise. All of my hard work and progress out the window. I found myself withdrawing, but who really cared about that anyway? The rabbit hole was dark and lonely. Good times felt far and few between. 
I can't help but tear up talking about that period of time. I spent most of my days longing to feel "normal," to laugh and actually smile. I wanted to be a strong person for Alex and his poor friends but I didn't know up from down. After a few incidents with my company in just a few short days, I made the decision that in one way or another I was to be out of that job in exactly two months. I had given myself a timeline and even that improved my spirit. 
Quickly summer turned to fall and I was left wondering how summer was over before it began? Yikes. I needed to make a change. 
In an attempt to find some further relief from my stress I pushed myself to go out when invited. That's when I met a confident, free spirit who intrigued the shit out of me. I mentioned that I felt as though my current job was taking absolutely everything from me and I didn't know how to stop it. A new job for sure but that certainly wasn't going to happen overnight. Until it did. This free spirit who actually turned out to be extremely intelligent and driven, encouraged me to apply at lululemon. She raved about the company and its culture, explaining that she never felt as though she were working. 
I went home that night and applied online. After a couple glasses of wine I decided it probably best to  wake up and read over the app before final submission. I was emailed that day asking to interview the following. The rest is history. I am slowly learning techniques to rid myself of vibes that I can't control. As I sit here writing, I can tell you that I am happy. Genuinely happy. 
2016 ended with new friends, a new career and new hopes. It also ended with food poisoning but that's alright- it's over! Sorry for the length of this bad Larry. If you made it this far you deserve a drank. 

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Taking the Leap..

Here I am. I made it. I quit my job and while I am pinching pennies and living on that ramen-noodle-a-night-budget, I am happy. Before graduation I was offered a full-time job at the bank I had been working at for about a year. There was nothing too attractive about the offer. The job sounded terrible, the salary was bad but seemed reasonable to me coming off my part-time pay checks. Perhaps the worst aspect of this job was that it intended to place me in a cubicle constantly chained to a telephone connecting me to angry customers. 

After consulting with my Dad who made suggestions such as "take the job right now" and "you're an adult now, here's your car insurance bill," I took the job. 

At first it wasn't horrible.I bought new office supplies to fully stalk my rather large desk. I was waking up every morning, making coffee and lunch then packing a bag for the gym after work. For all intents and purposes I was really killing the adult thing. According to society, I was doing everything right. 

Here's the catch, the position itself I never liked. Who in their right mind would enjoy telling people why they couldn't access their money or even better that someone else had? It goes over as well as you'd imagine. Working full time is something I was horribly unprepared for. Between the hours of 8-5 everyday I was confined to a building full of negativity. I watched my ideas come to life with someone else's name on them. Only acknowledged by the "third floor" or upper management if they were unhappy with something you've done. I always found it funny the way customers would come in for a meeting and mention the beauty of the building. On more than a few occasions I remember looking around in acknowledgment of its beauty but the only thing I saw was a massive sign blinking "get out of here!"

One night, I sat on my couch fighting sleep with every fiber of my being. "Why don't you just head to bed, Shan?" Alex asked. Stubbornly, I shook my head and refocused on Shark Tank. It was a good question, though. I'm exhausted and have to work in the morning, why wouldn't I just go to bed? I realized the reason I had been staying up so late was because I was avoiding spending most of my waking hours in that building. I needed a couple hours of normality to unwind and prepare for the following day's battles.

Fast forward two weeks and here I am. Composing a blog post on a Thursday morning with my PSL and my puppy. Monday, I start on a new adventure. My parents aren't thrilled that I would leave my "stable" job for one with a little/a lot less stability at the beginning. Sorry, guys. My first job was humbling. I learned a lot about myself and what it means to function in a professional setting. 

I'm looking forward to conquering a new job. I'm hopeful this won't be one I end up comparing to warfare.

Here's to adventure!

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Coffee Talk- Moving In With Your Significant Other

It's been about a month since Alex and I decided to take the plunge and co-habitate a cute little second floor apartment. This move has been great because I get to wake up to my best friend every single morning. I get to tell stories about my day, my blog and life. I look forward to ending my day on the couch with my best friend and leaving "have a great day" on the whiteboard on the fridge every morning.

As much as I love living with him, it certainly presents challenges. Everyone know's boys are difficult so here are some things to consider before taking the plunge.

• What's your definition of clean?

We're both pretty busy individually and at the end of a long day it's easy to save some dishes for tomorrow. If you ask me, I'm more than okay with that. It's important to make sure leaving a couple of dishes for tomorrow doesn't turn into a mound of smelly dishes next week. If there are a couple hanging around, can you expect your significant other to pick up the sponge? I would prefer my bed to be made everyday but I leave the house first and that doesn't happen. I deal with it. 

• Finances

You'll want to make sure you're both on the same page before moving in with one another. Alex and I are aware of what the other earns, we discuss our bills weekly and take turns buying groceries or ordering out. Neither of us know exactly what the other has for money at any given moment but we're both aware that bills can and will be paid and we're honest when groceries were a lot and the other needs to pick up a little slack. It's also been important that we limit our meals out. Cooking together and planning meals saves us a lot of money. Being an adult is choosing between chinese takeout and RedZone. 

• Company

Before deciding to shack up with little old me, Alex lived in a large house with five other guys. Yes, five and YES, it was gross. Alex's door was always open to friends and families to swing by. Believe it or not I really do mean always. I don't think that door locked a day during their lease. For this reason it was important for me to tell him right off the bat that sometimes I just want to be in my home without a bra or makeup. Sometimes I don't want to entertain. Alex know's how I feel and is getting pretty good at giving me warning before someone comes over. The surprise visits (surprise for me that is) are definitely still a thing but I secretly don't mind them. He just can't know that.  Make sure the two of you talk about company and when you'll have it. 

• Arguments

No one wants to think about this one but it's something that is really important. When you have an argument is your first instinct to run? If so, ask yourself what will happen when there is no where to run to. It's nice that we have a bedroom I can sneak away to for gossip girl, face masks and wine but sometimes we just need to sit there and hash it out. Sometimes, there is no answer and agreeing to disagree is the only way to end it. Can you settle your blood back to a slight simmer and enjoy dinner after that? 

Fun usually requires some degree of work to keep it going. A relationship and a home are no different. If you're confident and your significant other is your best friend and biggest supporter, it's a no-brainer.  

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Vibes

necklace | t-shirt

Back to work after an entire week off. Today calls for IV full of caffeine, an afternoon sweet treat to put a smile on my face and a strong workout to finish out the work day. I'm on a mission to make my life exactly what I want it to be and I have quite a ways to go. 

This Monday was brought to you by too much coffee and gangster rap. Good Vibes, people. 

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Love Wins.

Romantically thinking, once you fall in love with someone you should have this incredible feeling of fire-y passion burning deep in your soul and exploding through every single part of your body. A feeling that is ever-present and impossible to extinguish. In fact, it never ever goes away, not even during a blood-boiling-I-wish-I-could-hit-you fight. 
Wrong.
I'm not here to tell you passionate moments don't exist as the surely do. What I am here to tell you is there are far less of them than expected. One or two high-intensity overwhelming moments a day are a blessing. Sometimes, when you get super comfortable with one another, you may not get any in a day. That's okay. 
Being in love, instead, is a constant feeling of contentment. A feeling that everything will work out because you have someone right by your side to pick up the pieces if they don't. A constant cheerleader, a shoulder demonstrating strength and support and someone that will kiss your forehead before bed and reiterate what you already know; you are right where you are supposed to be.
The biggest test, for me anyway, is an argument. They're present don't you worry. As mad as I may be, even when my frustrations turn into tears, I never worry about losing my person. I know that all arguments come to an end and my desire to be happy with a person who knows me inside and out will defeat any feelings of anger in the long run. It's important to point out that I also try very, very hard to be right in arguments. 1. I almost ALWAYS am, duh. 2. Who doesn't want to have the best point? 
At twenty-two years old, I have found someone who pushes my boundaries. Someone who challenges me to work at being/becoming the best me I can be but loves me for who I am right now. If I complain that I need to get in shape, he's not there to tell me I'm great the way I am and not to worry. He will tell me to hit a gym and do something about it then notice when my back has couple more muscles than it did last week. 
It may be strange to wake up feeling content and calling that love. It's a happy a content, a supported content and more than anything in the world a content that I just can't imagine losing. 

On Friday, June 26th, 2015, the supreme court finally ruled in favor of same sex marriage nationwide.  I've always been lucky to live in a state where love and marriage have been an option for all since 2004. Really, since I was too young to understand the feeling. 
Upon hearing the news over my car radio on a trip to Dunks during my break from work, I have since felt an incredibly overwhelming sense of pride and happiness for everyone whom has been discriminated against based on who gives them their sense of contentment. The way my person makes me feel each and every day is one I wish for all open to it. 
After all a soul is a soul and everyone deserves love. 
Finally, Love Wins.

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Summer 2015

Yesterday brought rain and a plethora of Dad related pictures and posts detailing who has the best father and why. Yesterday also snuck in the first day of summer! In my mind summer means a few different things. Bare feet, tan lines and cheeseburgers. Oh, and those summer sunsets. Be still my heart, I just can't get enough of those sunsets.

I figured what better way to ring in the new season, the best season, than with a bucket list? I'm publishing this list in hopes that I will be more likely to tackle each item AND document it. You know, do it for the vine  blog, or something. 

- Watch the sunrise. I'm a maniac about the summer sky and sunsets. What is a daily occurrence for most is a sign of promise, peace and beauty to me. It may sound nuts, you may wonder what I put in my wheaties but I love them. A sunrise holds the promise of a new day, a new beginning if you will. That's why I vow to watch at least one sunrise this summer. Maybe two. 

-Yoga every damn day. I mean it self, every. single. day. oh, and 8 minute abs too. 

-Read at least four books. It may not sound like much but I'm working a whole lot in corporate America and sometimes my eyeballs just need a little rest after a long day of scanning computer screens. 

-Sing my little lungs out with Darius Rucker.  I have roughly two weeks to make this dream a reality. I've got all I need and it's alright by meee....

-Save every penny I can. Of course I still need to have some me time here and there where I'm not worrying about the moolah. Those bills are coming strong and fast let me tell you. 

-Dance in the moonlight. Dance in the light of a full moon on the beach. May sound like some voodoo sh*t but perhaps a little magical as well? Perhaps. 

-Celebrate America with my people. I'm sure we can all agree how wonderful this country is. What's better than a bunch of drunk patriots yelling 'Merica while roasting marshmallows, drinking beer and setting off fireworks on the beaches of Cape Cod. Very few things my friends, very few things. 

This is list is growing by the moment but for now, we will stick to these realistic goals. He's to a summer of love and sunshine. I'm hopeful that it will be filled with all of the happiness I sit here dreaming of. 

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The Plunge.

Here I sit on a rainy, humid Sunday afternoon in June. On more than one occasion today I have found myself lost in the constant downpour occasionally broken by a lone bird brave enough to make the trip from the safety of one tree branch to another. My thoughts are taken from the simple sound of rain to all of the wonders I want out of life, back to my reality. A twenty-two year old girl sitting on the bed of her childhood bedroom and wondering how I can look good traveling the world while making/saving money for a future. 

As a young teen I saw twenty-two as a glamorous time. I imagined something of an apartment in Manhattan with my best friends, a great office job where I would wear pencil skirts, blouses and four inch heels daily. Of course, Chuck Bass was my boyfriend in this fantasy. I mean, duh.

The dream world I had created for twenty-two and the reality of it are vastly different. Just yesterday I paid for a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee with a dollar of quarters. Had to get my fix, you know? Today I am writing out an expense planning guide and allotting myself a spending account along with a savings accounts. The third account is one in which most of my money will travel into, and out of- the bills account. Grocerys, rent, electric, etc. 

I'm lusting after a life of happiness and fulfillment. I'm taking a plunge to learn as much about myself as I can and be the best me while doing it.  It will be interesting to see what this crazy world has in store for me but I'm anxious to make the best of it. 

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Movin' on up!

If you have been in and around the Pinterest world recently you have probably noticed my recent spike in home decor pins. You may have noticed that some pins are straight out of Better Homes magazine and are entirely unobtainable if you are a 22-year old balancing school, and three, possibly four jobs. Other pins are full of creative DIY's and inexpensive decorating techniques perfect for the aforementioned collegiate.    It would look a little something like this- 

I'm sure you guessed it... I am moving in to a cute little apartment with one of my best friends and I couldn't be happier about it. Move in date is September 1st and I have a to-do list longer than Santa's nice list. 
With that being said here is my somewhat desperate plea to all of you. Does anyone have suggestions for cheap decor, pots and pans, and everything else one would need to move from home into an apartment? Thanks a million in advance. 
Aside from all of this apartment business I have been running around like crazy. I attended two weddings, threw a gender reveal party (It's a GIRL!) and have been working my butt off between nannying and a new job as a banker. It's a crazy life but someone has to do it. 
On my most hectic days I am just thankful for a couple beyond amazing friends and a kind, supportive boyfriend who is always more than willing to lend a shoulder or show up with the wine. He's usually pretty good at determining which I need in the moment. (Hint: it's always both. No exceptions.) That boy of mine carried me around for a week after I sprained my ankle and spent an entire night at his aunts wedding smiling at me and telling me how great I looked. If that isn't the sign of a keeper, I just don't know what is. 
I'm back, bitches. 
A few pictures to catch you up!

Shannon play's beer olympics, this happens and she sprains her ankle.

A little wedding shoot in Chicago. 

A little sister gives her big brother away. 

Lastly, I find out that I am going to be the aunt to one very spoiled little cupcake. 

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The Real First Day of Spring.

Here's to hoping everyone had an awesome easter with their families. I have never had a bad day with my family and feel so lucky every time we have the opportunity to spend time together. While not everyone was in attendance, it's still refreshing to catch up and laugh with people who will always love you. Both laughs and mimosas were plentiful yesterday, so there is no way to go wrong there.
Easter has always been a day that kind of defines spring for me. The weather is usually just starting to warm up and for the most part it tends to stay. Whether that will happen this year or not time will tell. Mother Nature has made it quite clear that she makes the rules around here. She's been a bitch. 
Today was absolutely gorgeous. I mean sitting on the deck in a tank top and lulu's while you write a paper kind of gorgeous. Naturally, that's exactly what I did and may have a little color to show for it.  Today also marked the official start of the Red Sox season. I totally understand that the Red Sox have kind of embarrassed themselves in the last year. Going from the best team in the country to the worst in a year is generally not how to impress the ladies, but I am one lady who will always stand behind my team. 

via: Instagram

The picture above was taken for blogging and Instagram purposes. As I changed my shirt and walked outside with a rose that decorated yesterday's easter spread my mom was both confused and judgmental. Mortal non-bloggers just don't get it, am I right? Or am I right?   

My afternoon in the sun turned into a day of fruit salad, hot yoga and an absolutely gorgeous sunset. I'm hopeful that means spring is actually here to stay but again, Mother Nature is really enjoying the curveballs this year. In either case I'm thankful for a gorgeous Monday and a life full of incredible people. 

Happy Spring!

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20 Ingredients to a Happy Life

About a week ago a friend asked me if I would be willing to help him with his senior thesis. For the project he has recruited a group of people to put together a collage of sorts. Chris asked me to take a picture of 10-20 items that I either really like, use everyday or an object that has sentimental value to me. Once all of the pictures have been collected they will be compiled into a book. As someone that was always willing to lend a hand to my not-so-popular self in high school I was more than happy to help. Also, I would be a bitch to say no. I mean, how hard is it really? 
Today, while a  certain patient boyfriend waited for me to have dinner, I threw together the picture. In the ten minutes it took to round up twenty items I didn't think to double check and see that I didn't need all twenty. The seventeen (my lucky number) I was stuck on would have sufficed. 
If you know me you know that I am a stickler for finding the positives in life. Recently, life has been a rainy, cold, cloudy mess. (Literally and metaphorically speaking.) I think forcing myself to find objects in my daily life that make me smile was just what I needed. It also got me thinking- what would other people have for their twenty items? Here are mine! 

ONE// Running shoe for when I need to escape. 

TWO// Laptop for shopping and writing. Maybe a little homework, too.

THREE// A Red Sox cap for my favorite time of year.

FOUR// Sunglasses for the glaring sun.

FIVE// Tea for restless nights.

SIX// A coffee mug for sneaking ice cream into bed with Netflix.

SEVEN// Coffee beans for late nights spent studying for finals.  

EIGHT// A candle for a inspiration. 

NINE// A cell phone for constant connection. And tweeting. 

TEN// A wine glass for the end of long days  everyday.

ELEVEN// A hand weight for the summer months. Swimsuit bodies don't create themselves. 

TWELVE// Naked 3 eyeshadow for when natural me doesn't feel like enough.

THIRTEEN// A mitzvah (my papa has the other half of the necklace) for when I'm missing him a little extra.

FOURTEEN// MAC perfecting powder to keep my makeup from running like a clown.

FIFTEEN// Pearl necklace for when I'm missing my Nana. 

SIXTEEN// A phone charger for when my connection times out.

SEVENTEEN// Pointe shoes for when I want to pretend I'm the ballerina I always dreamed of. 

EIGHTEEN// A yoga mat for when my mind and body need to reconnect. 

NINETEEN// A flower from my boyfriend for when I need an extra smile in a day.

TWENTY// A vineyard vines whale for when I need to tell the world I "Whaley" love VV. 

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So much happiness..

If you're following me on Instagram (if not you should be) you have probably heard the news by now. If you're not following me and have not a clue what I'm talking about then, you get what you get and you don't get upset. That last line was practice because...

I'm going to be an aunt!

My best friend Fallan, walked into work one day with a small bag. I could see that it was wine but didn't think much of it. In case you were wondering that's why we're friends, she can walk around with wine and I don't wonder why. She looked anxious and while I knew she had been expecting the results to her test about a week prior, she didn't mention and I wasn't going to push. No talk of the subject meant one of two things- the news was exactly what we wanted or it was really bad and she was crushed. Being the sneaky gal that I am I created conversations that would trick her into telling me what was going on. For instance mentioning drinking or caffeine, I even brought up that I had my period to see if she would crack. She's too smart for me, I got nowhere. 

Anyway, she walks into work and hands me this bag saying "I got a little something for you." Naturally, confused I respond with "why?" I opened that bag to find the best gift ever.

Aside from the creativity of this announcement there is so much more that went into it. Baby Dale, my future niece or nephew, is the product of IVF treatment. If you're interested in reading or know anyone that may be, read Fallan's story here. It has been a long, long road and I couldn't be more proud of my friend for getting through this difficult time in her life and choosing to share her story in hopes of helping another future mommy.

Good friends are incredibly hard to find and I'm honored to have gone through this process with her. If I turned even a couple to tears to smiles, I did my job. 

On my end, I'm proud and extremely thankful that the prayers paid off. I can't wait to snuggle this sweet little baby and tell him/her exactly how loved he/she is. Also, buy as many toys as I possibly can until Fallan and Mark tell me I have to stop. (Even then I probably definitely won't.) Until then, I'm off to pin everything baby related I can find and plan the best baby shower I can. 

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